Change is Good

Hello!

Life is so incredibly messy, that even if I really try, I can't force myself to engage in activities that don't feel real anymore. Progressively, I've just been distancing myself from societal norms, talking back, standing up for myself, and other wonderful things I've learned over the past few years, in which I enrolled in university, and just got sucked into this mind-blowing experience we call Life.

I've fallen in and out of love with it, numerous times, up until now, when I feel as if I've finally reached some of the tranquility and understanding I was looking for in this world. 2016 was a rough year, and it took me a long time to recover from all the scars that were inflicted upon me, and all of those that were self-inflicted. Heartbreak and constant failure can change you, man, and in me, I felt like it triggered a monumental revolution, that led me to a path of acceptance and discovery, that allowed me to renew friendships and start to decode something rooted deep within me.

It feels so incredibly good being in my own skin, being able to just be. Change is constant, and I've felt her, immensely. For that, I am so grateful. It may not look like much, but the stories that these two years encapsule, oh man. So much beauty, and hurt, so many new things, so many lessons.

The thing is, in my new mindset, I can't force myself to write anything unauthentic, I can't write silly, overused captions on Instagram and pretend that I feel that fake intimacy that it gives to so many people, I can't be around people that are not good for me, I try to be as analytical, unbiased, understanding and patient as I can. I'm no longer accepting that my scars bleed over blank pages. I'm no longer denying my reality, the one where I thought I couldn't succeed because I just didn't have the same tools, experience, know-how as the other people; but I am now trying to work with it, make it as much mine as I possibly can. My anxiety has calmed down by a lot, and I just feel a new energy. And it's freaking lovely. I love where I'm at right now, even though people still insist on trying to define my life by me sometimes or try to tell me what version of myself they see through their eyes.

So much on my mind lately, the options seem literally endless. I've been pondering learning a new language, taking new courses and skills, be it collages, pottery, psychology. I've finally decided that upon finishing my senior year, I'll be taking a gap year. I used to feel the need to drift along with what everyone was doing or saying. "That that was valid and this would fulfill you and bring you money as long as you do it by this age, under these circumstances". Even my peers forced me into that stupid box. I don't want to sit in it and be limited to a certain area all my life. I have many years to learn so much. I am ready for all the knowledge that is coming my way!
Many times, when I was feeling down, uninspired, I tried to join as many things as I could, all at once, just to prove that I was doing something, that I wasn't a failure. Always updating social media because how else are people going to keep interested and up to date with you? I now find that so many people seem to do this, just fill their online presence with stuff to prove something. To themselves? To others? Who knows.

Is there any structure to this post? I guess not. I've just been so indecisive about starting to write here again, because it's so pointless but at the same time it could do so much good, especially to my mental health. And on a whim, I just downloaded Blogger and started typing like a monkey again. All of a sudden I couldn't stop, hence the lack of structure. I'm just pumped and feeling creative all of a sudden, imagining all the topics I can now share, my new interests, my new way of rambling (if I feel like it) and just my new perspectives. Until next time,

Love and Light!

Rock bB = Change Lives

Hello!

So, long time no see! I've recently started thinking about getting back on Blogger and write some posts on this old blog, maybe re-vamp it a bit. So much has happened in the last years, months, weeks, so there should be quite a few topics to go over. Nonetheless, today I'd like to talk to you about something new that has happened in my life, and that has the capacity to impact positively so many people!


A couple of weeks ago I was asked by one of the Brand Rep Managers of BeyondBeanie to join them on their mission. Although I was a bit reticent at first since this was not the first time I was approached by a brand (and turned it down, just 'cause afraid of exposure...) I actually accepted and I'm thrilled! The brand's values are wholesome, and their products are just too cute. I annexed some resources to this post so that you can check their online store, mission, and even their TedTalk!


I've only now really started to get more into this commitment, but it has already been so rewarding. I was given a discount code that you can use for 25% off: NESI25; so that's just another reason to go pay them a visit, learn how they are helping to fight poverty by empowering artisans and helping children in need and also help me at the same time, in case you're interested!


Thank you so much for reading and I hope to find you reading my rambles in the near future!

● Inês ●

Back On Track

Hello! 

Long time no speak! Or should I say write? With exams and me finishing school for good, also with breakups and drama along the way, I got a little bit lost. This summer was all about self discovery, or re-discovery. I find that some people, no matter how much you love them, hold back your personal growth and in these past few months that's all I've been working towards. I finished school with a very good average, I applied to the colleges I wanted, I went out a lot and met amazing and fascinating people from my town and from other parts of the world! I had a couple of eye-opening experiences, I read, I found new music, new shows (which I'll discuss in another posts!), I walked and left the house a lot and fell in love with myself and found inner strength where I didn't think there was any left.

There were also a lot of bad things going on, before these good things happened, my mental health hit rock bottom, most of it triggered by a really awful breakup. Not having had a support group to get through it I felt lost and alone for the first weeks and maybe months of summer. But as awful as it all may seem when you're going through it, you always survive, the suffocating pain ends up dissipating, you always have yourself to rely on in the end. So here I am. I missed writing, I was so caught up in what seemed to be the end of everything that I lost myself. That's what teenager years are for, I guess, growth, letting go, discovery. I am so ready to get into college (thinking positive here, since we only know if we got in in a couple of weeks), to start a new path, meet new people, express myself the way I want to. My old school was a bubble, and I din't really have a pleasing experience there. It's so surreal, having studied there for 12 years, that it's all over. The safety net was removed from under our feet and now we're drifting, all of us, lost in our own way.

This update got really rambly, but I just wanted to drop by and check up on everything, since this is one of my little personal spaces on the internet. Anyway, here's an overview of my summer through some snippets from my instagram.

● Inês ●