(Virtual) Pressure.

Sometimes I feel like I need to upload stuff because people are expecting that from me. Instagram, twitter, all those sites that I don't use that often.

I feel this pressure, it starts building up when I stop posting for a day, and then I say that I'll do it later, but then 3 days pass and I start being stressed about it, and then almost a week passes and I think that I can't post because it'll look weird, too much time has passed. It's like virtual pressure ya know?

 People expect you to post stuff or they'll unfollow you or whatever, but sometimes I really don't want to do stuff, and I want to erase everything that proves that I was on the internet. I feel like it's more of an obligation, instead of something I do for fun or when I don't have anything better to do. I mean, real people are actually interested in what I have to say woah. Real people, made of flesh, with uh, eyes and noses and all that weird crap, and they want to know what I have to say?

I'm not interesting, I'm not enough, I'm nothing, and I always let people down, so why are people actually interested? I never feel this type of pressure in real life, because people are already not expecting much from me, so when I get here and I see that I have almost like, 1k followers on tumblr, and they like the shit that I post, and they find me funny, and I actually made friends there, it's just... Jeez. I mean, of course I feel it in real life too, but it's another form of anxiety.

I know I must sound like a crazy person and you must be like "dude, this dudette is freaking me out there's no need to be stressed over something so stupid as the internet", but yeah, I do. I'm always scared that I'm not doing enough when people set high expectations for me, because I suck. People should realize that. I'm so stupid, on one hand I spend basically the great majority of my day reading or on youtube or tumblr, even at school, I like to isolate myself, everything's always crowed and noisy, but I also want to have friends and have people to notice me, but when they do, on the internet for example, I freak out, I'm not used to it. And I don't want to tweet anything because I don't have anything good to say, or if I do, it doesn't fit in 140 characters, I don't want to post on instagram, I don't have friends to take selfies with, my food's not all pretty, my room is messy and with no taste, just some band posters and books and CD's and things that I'll never use. I don't want people to notice me, but I hate not having someone and having to vent to stupid blogs like this, telling this stuff to people who don't care and are expecting other stuff from me.

I needed to get this out off my chest, I'm sorry.